Demonized

[melissajm]

My "serpent-demon novel" has been getting a lot of feedback along the lines of "This is well written, but I'm just not warming to the main character." People either seem to love Malak or hate him, and so far all the agents have come down on the "No Love" side.

Wiser heads than mine have suggested 2 possible instant turnoffs:

1. Serpent-demons, including Malak, eat anything that moves, including people.

2. Readers see "seraphim" and "demon" and assume a religious framework that isn't there, which throws them off.

So, does anyone have a strong reaction to either of those issues? Or suggestions? Thanks!

Comments

[spcpthook.livejournal.com]

I have to go with the majority here. Demon doesn't bother me. Seraphim would immediately turn me off as too religious for what i enjoy reading. As for number 1. I think a lot of it would have to do on how it was handled. Does he just get hungry and eat whoever's closest or is there usually something beyond hunger that convinces him to consume his own species. I think it comes down more to whether or not his behavior has any sort of scruples or morals behind it. in other words, behavior your audience can balance the non-acceptable behavior with. If he's little more than a ravening monster then he's not likely to be an enjoyable character as a protag. Give him personality and reason your readers can identify with, or create a world where ravening is so completely acceptable that he's the good guy because on average he only eats one neighbor a month rather than three *grin* and you might have something. Anything can be done. it all comes down to how you make it acceptable.

[melissajm.livejournal.com]

Serpent-demons seldom eat their own kind, unless they're starving, or in specific rituals. (think praying mantis) Anything else, though, is food, and bringing down a seraph is a status symbol.

The trouble with Malak is that he's been raised this way, but has the face of a Seraph. A main part of the story is how he learns to see others differently.

SPOILER: The sequel's based on how he's gotten himself in hot water with the demon community by starting a group that says eating "speaking things" is wrong.")