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Date:
2006-11-19 06:52 am (UTC)
From:
mallory-blog.livejournal.com
My initial feeling was that it is too vague, particularly the lines Once, A, And.
I also thought you could trim the first line a bit --
Once, Mankind shared the world with winged seraphim, servants of Light and protectors of life and scaled demons, ....
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(no subject)
Date: 2006-11-19 06:52 am (UTC)I also thought you could trim the first line a bit --
Once, Mankind shared the world with winged seraphim, servants of Light and protectors of life and scaled demons, ....