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ext_13176 (
mallory-blog.livejournal.com
) wrote
in
melissajm
2006-11-19 06:52 am (UTC)
no subject
My initial feeling was that it is too vague, particularly the lines Once, A, And.
I also thought you could trim the first line a bit --
Once, Mankind shared the world with winged seraphim, servants of Light and protectors of life and scaled demons, ....
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no subject
I also thought you could trim the first line a bit --
Once, Mankind shared the world with winged seraphim, servants of Light and protectors of life and scaled demons, ....