ext_13176 (
mallory-blog.livejournal.com
) wrote
in
melissajm
2006-11-19 06:52 am (UTC)
no subject
My initial feeling was that it is too vague, particularly the lines Once, A, And.
I also thought you could trim the first line a bit --
Once, Mankind shared the world with winged seraphim, servants of Light and protectors of life and scaled demons, ....
(
8 comments
)
Post a comment in response:
From:
Anonymous
This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID
Identity URL:
Log in?
Dreamwidth account
Account name
Password
Log in?
If you don't have an account you can
create one now
.
Subject
HTML doesn't work in the subject.
Formatting type
Casual HTML
Markdown
Raw HTML
Rich Text Editor
Message
[
Home
|
Post Entry
|
Log in
|
Search
|
Browse Options
|
Site Map
]
no subject
I also thought you could trim the first line a bit --
Once, Mankind shared the world with winged seraphim, servants of Light and protectors of life and scaled demons, ....